It is amazing how when you're struggling with an issue God can speak to you by using a scripture you've read a million times before to speak to you in a way it hasn't before. Today I felt like I was having a conversation with God where he heard my "yeah, but..." and answered with the next verse.
I had a business dealing that didn't go according to plan and left both partners feeling like the ore had wronged them. I don't think that either party meant for harm to come to the other, but it turned out that way. As I have been reading about putting God and people above money, I've been asking God to reveal to me areas where money was coming in front of him or people and this is something that keeps coming to mind.
So, the conversation went something like this:
"Lord, we did all that we told him we were going to and gave him more time and chances than we were obligated to. Isn't that enough?"
Matt. 5:40-41 And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.
"If I knew it would make a difference to him, maybe I'd be more willing to pay him above what he is due. What if I do this and he still looks on me with contempt?"
Matt. 5:44-45 But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and unrighteous.
"What? Am I to bring blessing into his life, even if he still continues in an unrighteous lifestyle? To be like God I must love those who don't love me? What if I seek to correct things with him and it doesn't restore our reputation with those he spread gossip about us? Would he actually tell anyone? If he doesn't, should we still pay him?"
Matt. 6:3-4 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. *
"But if we give to him, that will affect our ability to repay debt and save. Is it financially responsible to voluntarily give him money?"
Matt 6:19-21 Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
"But sometimes I worry even about paying my own bills, much less be looking for more things to pay. My first responsibility is to my family and make sure they are provided for. What if giving him money in an effort to make amends makes me less able to provide for my family?"
Matt. 6:31-33 So do not worry, saying, "What shall we eat?" or "What shall we drink?" or "What shall we wear?" For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all the things will be given to you as well.
"So are you saying that if I am seeking your kingdom and your righteousness and we feel that you are leading us to give money to him, that when we are in your will you make sure our needs are provided for? Sovereign Lord, please give us wisdom to decipher your message. This training is getting expensive! Please lead us in what your will is. If you are leading us to pay him, please strengthen our faith that you will provide for our needs. May your name be glorified."
* It's not lost on me that the simple fact of blogging about this experience means that I am not doing it in secret. I am balancing in my mind the benefit I receive from the accountability of maintaining a blog and the potential for being prideful through it. I decided to share my experiences as honestly as I can, knowing that my audience is small and most people who would read it already know the situation I am speaking of.
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